Lessons from My Own Relaunch

So, I got an MBA, then a fast-track career, then a spouse and family. Then I did what a lot of women do – I left the workforce. When I left, I had no idea if I’d ever collect another paycheck. Then I got scared that even if I wanted to go back to work, no one would hire me. Returning to work created anxiety – Do I remember any industry jargon? What exactly did I want to do? Will I be better at office politics this time? Well somehow, I managed to figure it out and I went back to work. Going back to work was one of the best decisions of my life. And I definitely learned a few things about myself once I returned to a life that included after-action reviews, 1-1’s, and team lunches.

Lesson 1: I LOVED having an identity outside of being a wife and mother.

I started my career break after having two children and a year later moved to a new city. Everyone I knew, I’d met through my husband or my children. I then joined a running club and met people that only knew me – none of my relations, and I loved that. Going back to work was like being in that running club every day. While I never shied away from having a family, it was no longer my headli and I really cherished that.

Lesson 2: Be vulnerable enough to learn at any time.

When I went back to work, the mantra around my new office was “lids and doors." I don’t know the backstory, but somehow my whole team was working in cubicles. About 18 months after I started, everyone had an office. Yes, I appreciated having my own space, but the honest truth is I don’t know what I would have done if I’d had an office from day one. I learned so much listening to my colleagues “over the cubicle walls." Shout out to Eric Johnson – Thanks for not using your inside voice!

Lesson 3: My break was a much bigger deal to me than to anyone else.

I stayed home for five years, longer than some and shorter than others. Yet, when I started working again, I worried my break would define me. I was so concerned that I didn’t even have family pictures on my desk. I don’t recall peers, managers, cross-functional teammates (really anyone) ever saying anything disparaging to me about my time as a SAHM. Actually, as time went on and we had the normal office turnover, most people didn’t even know that I’d taken a career break.

Lesson 4: I liked having some financial independence.

(Actually, I danced the happy dance every payday for like a year!) – Going back to work didn’t catapult my family into a different tax bracket. But my paycheck did provide enough so that I covered groceries, kids’ activities, doctor’s appointments, etc. I felt so good contributing. (That first year – everyone got what they wanted for Christmas!) I felt so good having my own salary. I felt so good tangibly contributing. I don’t know what else to say, except I FELT SO GOOD.

Lesson 5: Returning to work was a challenge.

Despite working in a super family-friendly office, working full time was more of a challenge than I anticipated. My husband’s career allows for flexibility – except when it doesn’t. And that inflexibility was difficult and stressing to manage around. Looking back - I could have done more to figure out how to deal with the inflexibility. I know families that use babysitters, after-school care programs, family friends to manage. I didn’t think about any of these options when I was in the thick of working. I just said – I can’t make this work and I quit my job. Fortunately, my team offered me a role better suited to my personal schedule, so I retracted my resignation. I thought I had figured out my home life before I started working again. But I simply couldn’t have anticipated the full impact until I had indeed returned to work.

Overall, what I’ve learned is that there’s a lot of truth to that saying about the "best laid plans." After all of my education, I didn’t envision taking time off. But I did. When I finally did return, my career looked nothing like the one had before my break. But I loved it. I didn’t expect to discover new strengths and untapped talents. But I had them. I guess my final lesson was that I can handle the sideways directions that life takes you and that careers can go. But that’s all good.